I recently had the oppurtunity to visit a couple, in Bangalore... a visit which left in me a deep abiding respect for the 'ordinariness' of the Indian middle class.
It was my first visit , took me a good 20 minutes to locate the house within a vicinity of one km. As I parked the car outside the gate, could see a lady on a kinetic honda scooter, with her son riding pavilion. Her son was back from school, guessing by his uniform and the heavy backpack on his back. She was the lady of the house, and since I was expected; she welcomed me in the house.
A modest abode, it was definitely a house lived in ... a house in which the inmates were a family ... in the true spirit. I was shown into a bedroom adjoining the living room. On the bed there was a gentleman sitting with a cap, a T-shirt, shorts, bandages on his legs , and a welcoming smile on his face. After the initial introductions, I was made comfortable .... chairs were drawn out into the bedroom.
After some time it struck me as 'odd' that the gentleman had not made any attempt to stand up to greet me ... and then let the thought pass ... as my fetish for properiety... We started talking and I asked the lady whether she was a homemaker, and she very matter of factly replied she used to run a boutique; now since her husband needed her attention she had closed the same down.
After a cup of tea, and some snacks the following emerged in the course of the conversation:
Two and a half years back the gentleman had met with an accident in which a car ran over his spinal cord. The cord was broken at 12 places... The doctors said that it would take anything betwen 18-24 months for his nerves to develop for him to be able to sit on the bed; and another year or so for his nerves to develop enough for him to take a few steps.....
After the initial operations, when he was discharged from the hospital, two people had to support him even if he wanted to change sides on the bed ... his back had to be supported by 6 large size pillows. His uncle stays in Bangalore ; and his parents came from Punjab to be with him. After some consultations and deliberations, he admitted himself in a naturopathy hospial in Mysore. His wife joined him, and nursed him. On finding that the diet at was not adequate, they arranged for provisions, some utensils and a cooking cylinder in the room itself.... and she cooked him good nutritious food. He made friends with the doctors at the clinic, and had almost free access to the physiotherapy rooms to exercise instead of the scheduled 2 hours daily. The kids were left in the care of the grandparents in Bangalore .....
6 months later, husband and wife came back from Mysore ... He could now sit on the bed for 6-8 hours without any pain .... the physiotherapist now started coming home and his care continued .... She nurses him, bathes him, takes care of his massages as prescribed by the physiotherapist, takes care of the children ....supported by her inlaws. They have rented a couple of rooms in the house to two software professionals who stay there as PG...and the maid just does the household chores.
He has some sensation in the legs and the doctors have told him that the nerves have developed to the extent of 20-25% .... he wants to walk without the aid of the walker in the next 6 months .... and is getting a special 3 wheeler constructed with a back rest ... wants to drive in Bangalore in the next year .... manages his 15 year old business of hardware supplies in South India, primarily on phone and in partnership with his uncle.
He says he could do it only by her support and by God's grace, and she just smiles ... with both love and tears in her eyes... No airs, no self-pity, no vanity ....
These people are simple, middle class people... no fancy degrees, not much sophistication in approach or mannerisms ... but they have an understanding of 'living life' and ' meaning of relationships' which no degree .. no book would impart... and certainly would not be a Page 3 column
I left them deeply humbled and deeply disturbed by the shallowness of some aspects of the 'upwardly mobile' lifestyles.....
